Not playing so nice any more

[wandthief]

I forgot how much fun taunting others could be. Being a tired, helpless old man is getting me nowhere in the sympathy stakes and I have no reason to pretend to be so understanding any longer. So I may as well be myself again.

Clearly I was correct in my beliefs that Muggles are far inferior to wizards. You cannot seem to do very much without magic - or not very efficiently, at least. If not for your own recent failings the ultimate proof is my current non-magical condition. So all I can do is pity you that you are stuck that way when I at some point will regain my true powers.

Any other demons or otherwise supernatural beings here... Don't try to defend them. You have power and they have not. I'm sure you've been glad of that at some time or other if you have not outright used that power against them.

Comments

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

I've rarely had sympathy and I've had very little of it here. I'm used to it.

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

Nobody gets used to people telling them they deserved to die.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

Speaking from experience?

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

I don't think it matters.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

Then why mention it?

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

Because the point's true, no matter whether it's from experience or not.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

And why do you think I care?

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

Because someone's going to beat you to death at this rate.

And everyone, even the wardens who might say 'oh, you shouldn't have done that' will be grateful.

Alienating yourself is more damaging than you seem to think.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

I've played along for six months and it's gotten me nowhere.

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

And this is going to just get you hated.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

I know that.

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

Then what's the purpose in this?

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

Rediscovering myself and my joy of simply being myself.

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

And yourself is hated by all the varying levels of 'sane' people here. I'm sure that makes you feel brilliant.

Even when I say something I know everyone's going to hate me for, it's for the purposes of keeping some kind of order around here.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

Once they get beyond the surface most people have hated me. I didn't get such a bad reputation for nothing. So I'm merely being more honest - not being as careful with my words as I have tried to be. Most people haven't believed me anyway.

I'm not here to be liked.

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

And under the surface, you're uglier and nastier than any of their hate for you can be.

This is coming from me, remember. I'm not here to be liked either, but if just my honest opinion brought such righteous hate, I'd be worried.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

And hiding under a pretext of sympathy to make people think I am kind has done me no good at all. Being false - even if I wanted to believe I could be that way - isn't going to get me anywhere at all.

I've dealt with hundreds, even thousands, of people hating me in the past - for real and for exaggerated crimes. Then generations of people reading my history and hating me from that second hand information.

I am not pretending any longer. If I am to be hated I may as well be hated for being myself. Hix helped me by being blunt with his parting words. I may have lost a little respect for him for his with-holding that until the last minute but I have to admit it made me think again about what I am doing here.

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

...so you've decided not to try and change any of that, and, what, shrug and say 'well, it's just who I am.' when everyone resents you for it?

I don't blame Hix for quitting on you.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

I've tried. Being fake - much as I tried not to be - does not fool the Admiral into graduating anybody. So why should I keep lying to myself and everybody else?

I did try to be what people wanted me to be, not what they expected me to be. I want to graduate. But clearly the way I was going about it was not working. I am not claiming that this will help me graduate either - but at least I am having a more enjoyable time of it - and if people want to complain about this then let them. They're already complaining about how grumpy and miserable I am and that is not me.

I've always looked on the bright side of things.

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

How about, instead, genuinely trying to realise your faults?

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

I am acknowledging them right now.

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

Except you're not. You're sitting there, justifying your theories to yourself, blinding yourself to the full extent of your fault.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

It is a start. I'm not trying to justify anything. I'm admitting that I do have these faults. I'm not saying I don't have others.

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

It's hardly admitting they're faults when you're unapologetic.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

Then that is another of my faults.